[Watch] Kurt Russell and John Carpenter laughing their asses off watching The Thing
January 24, 2020
Welcome to an all new dating show featuring the beloved and famed Cubby Laven. Coming to your TV sets across America. This is Love Expiration with Cubby Laven.
Cubby Laven has a doctorate in human behavior and studied at Harvard. Known around Harvard’s campus back in 1998 as “No Nonsense Cub”, he did various studies and theses on sociology, winning 3 Pulitzer Prizes in 2002.
One day while at the lab something very terrible happened to him. It’s almost too tough to even write about the horrific events that unfolded. In a nutshell they mixed Cubby Laven’s DNA with rodent DNA and boom, Cubby Laven was alive!
Fully embracing his new rat status he began to travel the world. He did years and years of ancient and spiritual meditation, while on the side he would counsel couples with love advice. His practice started to really take off when Jenny McCarthy came into his office and suggested that he was next Singled Out, a popular MTV show from the mid to late 90’s.
Cubby’s new found fuel of helping couples really came together when he linked back up with Doctor Ducktor, a long time friend from medical school. She helped connect Cubby to the proper networks to get his show off the ground.
“At first networks thought he was insane, but Cubby is so likeable and knowledgeable on relationships, they’d be foolish not to use him for a show” Rizzo the exterminator recalls.
The team put out various Craig’s List ads and pulled in so many couples from all over the globe. Unsuspecting couples sit in Cubby’s den and vent their problems, round for round. Cubby will then decide who has the longest and healthiest relationship. It’s a show you do not want to miss. Oh there’s also an amazing prize for the couple that wins.
Let’s rat it up!
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